Sunday, June 24, 2018

Only in Queensland

With winter solstice upon us and the days growing longer I am reminded of a story a colleague once told me. Trevor was called into the emergency department to attend to a chap that had cut off two of his toes using a lawn mower. Sadly this isn’t uncommon in my part of the world as the weather is warm and the grass grows quickly - far too many Queenslanders mow the lawn in thongs or barefoot. But this blokes story is a little different. When asked how he managed to injure himself he replied, “Well mate, I finished mowing me lawn and thought I might as well do me hedges. So I pick up me mower, put them handles into the hook of me elbows, and started mowing me hedges. Well, I lost me grip and the bloody thing fell down and cut me fuckin’ toes off.” Trevor took a moment to digest the information then calmly explained why toes injuries like this were not suitable for replantation. The chap took the advice well and was admitted to hospital for formalisation of his toe amputations. About an hour later Trevor was called back to the emergency department for another chap who had cut off a toe with a lawn mower. When he went in and asked the patient how he came about his injuries he replied, “Well mate, I was turning the corner on my way home and saw this bloke using a mower to trim his hedges. He had the lawn mower up against his chest like this..”

No way..

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