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Sunday, November 13, 2016

In search of happiness


If you see the world differently you should ask yourself this: “Do I see things more clearly than everyone else or am I simply (more) messed up?” 

The odds favour the latter.



Bro’ do you even lift do physics?



When I was a teenager I had an insoluble problem. Well, actually, like all teenagers I had many problems, but one problem preoccupied me by my inability to get around it. The problem I had was the race between the tortoise and the hare. In a real world (as opposed to the Aesop’s fable) the hare wins the race. But I couldn’t help thinking about the start of the race and dissecting back ad-infinitum to the very start of the race. If we did that then the hare’s lead diminishes to nothingness. My conclusion was that the infinitely divisible cannot exist: for if it did, then nothing ever happens. 

My reasoning went a bit like this: If the hare runs at, say, 10m/s and the tortoise at, say, 1m/s (it’s a fast tortoise) then at 1 second after the start the hare would be 9m ahead of the tortoise (assuming a flying start to negate acceleration). Pretty impressive to say the least. At 1/2 second that lead is still an impressive 4.5m. At 1/4 sec the lead is 2.25m. At 1/8 sec it is 1.125m. At 1/16 second it is 56.25cm and so on. As speed is distance travelled divided by the time taken - and assuming the hare is 10x faster than the tortoise - then the distance the hare is ahead of the tortoise at any set time is simply 9 x t (where t = time taken). If “t” is infinitesimally small then 9 x t, or 100 x t, or any “massive number that isn’t infinite” x t is still, essentially, nothing. Moreover, if t is infinitely small then the difference is absolutely nothing. This didn’t make any sense. 

Luckily I did some physics at high school and learnt something about the fixed energy states of electrons (around an atomic nucleus) and, over time, the concept of quanta became another matter-of-fact that underpinned my understanding of the world. Without thinking any more about it I accepted that some physical constant governing indivisibility along with the other fundamental constants meant the universe existed as I experienced it. And that was that. 

Lucky. If I had tried to make any sense of it I might have become a physicist. And if I did I would have discovered that my question was more elegantly stated 2,500 years earlier in Zeno’s paradox of Archilles and the tortoise* and that the problem (of why the universe exists) remains insoluble. 

But enough of that. I want to discuss two unassailable truths.

Here’s the first truth:

Happiness is not the point of life any more than blue is the point of colour. 

It surprises me how few people understand this.

Sure, it is important to seek happiness but no more so than seeking food, and shelter, companionship, knowledge, financial security, emotional sustenance, self-actualisation.. What happiness means to you depends on where you are at that particular point in time. If you are lucky happiness might be about fulfilment and purpose. If you are less lucky happiness might be about having enough food to eat. Happiness also doesn’t exist without pain, suffering, fear, anger, boredom, regret, envy and all those other emotions/ situations we would rather avoid. Happiness is a part of life. It’s a good part (and something worth striving for) but only ever a part of the whole.

Let me ask you a question. What is the colour blue? If I say the word “blue” do you conjure a colour of the same hue, value or intensity as what I have in my head? Even if we look at the same blue panel do we register the image in exactly the same way? In other words, is my blue your blue? The question is important because such registration might be the only thing we have in common. Beyond the image registration the thought processing is almost certainly different between us. Blue is my favourite colour. Is it yours? What about the colour red? What about the smell of a flower? The sound of rain on a hot tin roof?

This leads me to the second truth: 

We are alone.

No matter how much love we feel for those around us (and how connected we think we are) we can only ever know what it’s like to be ourselves. And even then we can only ever know what it’s like to be ourselves in the present. We don’t know the future and the past gets clouded by a host of factors governing memory, reflection and judgement (by ourselves as well as others). Sure, surround yourself with people and things for that is what it takes to be human - to be part of humanity. But, when everything is (quite literally) said and done, you’re on your own. Get comfortable with it. 

I don’t know if we live in a deterministic universe. I don’t know whether there is such a thing as free will and thereby a means by which we can control the course of our lives. No one really knows. Yet this is the deepest truth and we should seek to answer it. 

But for me, in the meantime, right now, the question is not so much why the hare can pass the tortoise but the consequence of the reality that it does. 





*If you think that the mathematical solution for a simple convergent series is cool then take a look at the solution for a simple divergent series by the same YouTuber here. Mind-blowing stuff this mathematics. 





Sunday, October 2, 2016

Spring


I found a bird. In a nest. In a tree. In my garden.







It’s not a very big tree and the nest is only head height from the ground. I’m not tall, in fact I’m quite short, so that’s not very high at all. We were both very surprised.



Sunday, September 18, 2016

Comic-Con




Her: When is it?

Him: This weekend.

Her: Cool, I’ll go in cosplay.

Him: Hang on, you can’t just put a bag over your head and call yourself “Ironman”. 

Her: Hey, I’ve got some stuff from last year..

Him: [cautious but curious] Do you have any figurines?

Her: [laughing] No, I’ve got mainly books.. and comics.

Him: So.. so you just read them?

Her: Yeah, and I like to draw from them.

Him: Like freehand or do you trace them out?

Her: Freehand. It’s my chill time.. It makes me happy.

Him: Cool..

Her: Yeah..


Sunday, August 14, 2016

Journey in spacetime 2




Senior consultant: Hi Kevin. Happy new year.

Junior consultant: Hi Chris. Happy new year. Sorry I missed your call. I was at the movies.

Senior consultant: Hey, not a problem. I was ringing to see if you had joined the Shoulder and Elbow Society.

Junior consultant: Um. No. Not yet. It’s on my to do list... Sorry it’s a bit noisy in here.

Senior consultant: That’s fine. What were you watching?

Junior consultant: Um… I saw Big Hero 6. (Disney Studio’s manipulation of a Marvel Comics creation designed to capture a market too young to fully appreciate the magnificent Avengers series and their dystopic universe and, despite the grating tearjerkers and predictable storyline, it was entertaining enough and points a malleable mind in a useful direction which is certainly a darn sight better than that disgraceful “Frozen” movie the popularity of which suggests that people in privileged societies don’t give a damn that their daughters entrench the belief they are born princesses even if the rest of the world doesn’t recognise it and that such entitlement - given that women are secretly in charge of everything - marks the downfall of Western economies and thereby the downfall of Western thinking and ideology...)

Senior consultant: ...

Junior consultant: It actually wasn’t too bad. I rather enjoyed it. It’s a kids movie...

Senior consultant: ...

Junior consultant: I like animation.

Senior consultant: Yeah, that reminds me. I was going to see a movie with my daughter this morning but she slept in. I guess we’ll go this afternoon...

Junior consultant: Yeah. It’s pretty hot today. There are lots of people at the movies. 

Senior consultant: I don’t think it’s that hard to join the Shoulder and Elbow Society. You are in the Hand Society aren’t you?

Junior consultant: Yes.

Senior consultant: Well you should apply to join the Shoulder and Elbow Society. You can use me as a referee if you like. That’s if you want to.

Junior consultant: Thanks Chris. I really appreciate your support.

Senior consultant: Not a problem…



I don’t ever want to grow up. I once had plans on becoming an artist. Or failing that an animator, or an architect, or a puppeteer. Serious. I transcribed this conversation last year (Jan 2015) because it felt somehow surreal. Today my application to join the Shoulder and Elbow Society was accepted. 

Status quo is not a default option. It never really was. And it will never be.



Sunday, July 24, 2016

Shoot the breeze


“I think I know why I get my headaches,’” I tell Anthony as we ride early one winter morning. “It’s because it’s so goddamn cold that my teeth freeze and it goes up to my brain. It’s up behind my left eye right now.” “Well maybe you should shut your mouth and stop talking for a while,” he chortles back. I pause a second or two as I figure it out, “Actually it’s ok. If I keep my lips over my teeth it’s not so bad.. Myeah mit’s metting metter malready..” 

Well, I have something to say. I often have something to say but today I have this to say: I think Google and the ability to easily check points of fact have, subtly (and sometimes not so subtly), diminished the value of conversation. Language provides an ability to transfer information but, while there can be no doubt about the importance of accuracy on matters of fact, I’m starting to understand that that’s probably not the main point of conversation. A conversation is a temporary sharing of a moment in time. It is just one of many possible interactions. Being right often has little to do with it.

I sit down as Anthony prepares a mug of hot chocolate for me and an expresso for himself. E. walks into the kitchen.

“Dad I think I left my towel in the car.” She gives Anthony a hug. Anthony returns the affection with one arm as he balances the jug of hot chocolate with the other. “Morning E.” he kisses her on the head, “That’s ok I found it last night and put it in the dryer. It was a bit damp.” E. pulls back, “But I need it now!” she says forcefully. “It’s just in the dryer honey. It should be dry by now," Anthony replies gently, "Why don’t you go downstairs and pick it up." E. twists her hips and wanders off to the door. She takes a few steps than comes back. “I don’t want to go downstairs. I don’t want to go on my own.” She sidles between Anthony and the table where he is preparing breakfast.

I smile at Anthony as I watch the events unfold. E. is nine years old and has a swimming carnival this morning. To be fair the area downstairs is technically outside the house and the sun has only just risen above the horizon. Morning clouds hide much of its glow.

“Ok honey. Let’s go pick it up.” Anthony saunters downstairs with E. skipping at his side. He comes back up carrying a load of washing and drops it into a basket. E. dives in to grab her things. Anthony gets back to breakfast. “It’s competition day,” he tells me. “It’s a bit like this on competition day,” he says with a grin. E. comes back with a white shirt in her hand. “There’s a stain on this dad. Look,” she points out a faint black mark that looks like a washed out ink stain. “Oh yeah you’re right,” Anthony replies attentively as he takes the shirt from E. “And here’s another,” he says opening up the shirt sleeve, “and here’s another on the collar.” E. peeks over Anthony’s shoulder. “Oh yeah.. I wonder how that got there,” she asks. “I’m not sure,” Anthony replies, “It’s probably something in the dryer.” E. furrows her brow as she scrutinises the stain, “I don’t think so dad,” she replies. “Dryers don’t cause stains. It has to be the washing machine. Something dark in the washing machine has caused the stain.” She takes the shirt from Anthony and wanders back to her room.

I grin at the small, innumerable travails that parents contend with each day. “I like how your kid’s problem suddenly becomes your problem,” I tell Anthony as he places a steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of me. I wrap my hands around the mug. “Thank you,” I sigh as the warmth hits me, “I reckon some people never grow up beyond that stage.” Anthony nods as he tamps his coffee. “It’s a bit like that isn’t it?” he replies, “But I think there is a limit of what we can absorb.” Anthony continues, “When I have the kids over the weekend I find that I can be a bit short with some of the patients I see at work the following day.. You know those people that sit down in front of you and tell you their problem, and, then, before you know it, it becomes your problem.” “Absolutely!” I laugh in agreement as I rock back in my chair, "I know the kind well.” Anthony’s coffee machine hisses to life. He continues, “Well, after a big weekend with the kids I've reached my fill so I'm like, ‘Hang on there, this isn’t my problem mate. This is your problem. I’m just here to help you.’” He pauses a microsecond and moderates, “‘This is something we can sort this out but it's something we're going to have to do together.’”

We grin in mutual understanding. Anthony takes his expresso and sips at it. He sits down as E. walks back into the kitchen.