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Saturday, July 30, 2022

A group of strangers meet for lunch..



Modernist: “There is an objective truth and we will understand it if we are methodical and coherent in our approach.”


20th century postmodernist: “You claim objectivity but your history and conscious processing is necessarily biased and subjective. Truth is an ideal that is hard or impossible to achieve.”


Me: “I believe in an objective reality but don’t understand much about it.”


Modernist: “I can teach you.”


21st century postmodernist [to the modernist]: “Keep your metanarrative to yourself. My lived experience shows your position to be a construct of preference and prejudice.”


Anarchist: “Yes. And should be subverted.”


Historian: “Steady on. Your positions have relevance but please be mindful of where your ideas come from.”


Me [addressing the historian, anarchist and 21st century postmodernist]: “I need established order to find my place in this world. I cannot deny the world that pervades my present and my past.”


Max Planck: “That might be harder than you think. I had to get around it by creating a mathematical fudge factor.”


Werner Heisenberg: “He’s right. We have to remember that what we observe is not nature itself but nature exposed to our method of questioning.”


Erwin Schrödinger: “I have an equation that can help you with that.”


20th century postmodernist [to Erwin Schrödinger]: “Sure, but that still left us with a lot of unanswered questions.” [looking to Planck and Heisenberg] “You created a whole new field to extend your chosen narrative.”


21st century postmodernist: “And subject to irrelevance given the constructs from which they arose.”


Religious person: “Everyone, stop worrying! There is a book that guides the soul and connects us with God. That, surely, is far more important.”


Religious fundamentalist: “Yes, there is a book but you must read it really carefully. It is absolute.”


Modernist [to the religious fundamentalist]: “Are you for real?”


Religious fundamentalist [to the modernist]: “Are you for real?”


Modernist: “You’re a fanatic.”


Religious fundamentalist: “You are blind. Your life is emptiness cloaked in a veneer of reason. The parlay of incomplete ideas into politics and society has destroyed millions and disempowered countless more.”


Historian: “Yes.. this needs to be a nuanced conversation. Let’s order lunch.”


[everyone looks at each other]


21st century postmodernist: “Fuck you guys, I’m leaving.” 


Anarchist: “Yeah, you guys are so fucked up.” [addressing the modernist and religious fundamentalist] “Next time I see youse, I’m going to fuck youse up.”


Modernist: “This is going nowhere. I have matters of consequence to attend to..”


20th century postmodernist: “I’ll join you.. and check your work.”


Religious fundamentalist: “You will all burn in hell.”


Religious person: “Don’t worry about them.” [getting up and touching me on the shoulder] “I sincerely hope you find your way through this.”


Historian [awkwardly]: “Umm.. that was quick.. .. .. Best be on my way.”


...


Me: “Where’s everyone gone?”


Werner Heisenberg: “I’m already dead.”


Max Planck and Erwin Schrödinger: “So are we.”


Planck, Heisenberg and Schrödinger: “But our work endures. It remains useful.”



Me [at the counter]: “I’ll take a ham sandwich to go thanks.”






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